Saturday, December 18, 2010

Into the fire...and farewell

Oh, wouldn't you know it? The minute we announce the retirement of our Hate for Hire blog, floods of requests come in, begging us for some eleventh-hour resentment work. Hating Katy Perry? Hating the DVD release of Eat Pray Love? Hating Gwyneth P's appearance on Glee. Hating the end of Hate for Hire? Sorry, too late for us....

Instead, a do-it-yourself kit to help you when we're gone, based on our own traditional method of dealing with irritating people, places and things. For years now, we've been spending part of each New Year's Eve writing down a list of hates and resentments. Often on individual slips of paper. Sometimes slipped into an air-mail envelope. Then, before midnight, into the fire with them all. The intention is that they will not enter the New Year with us. Well, that's the intention.

The Pope usually makes it into the fire. Moron bosses, past and present (one in particular.) Irritating behaviors of loved ones. You understand. Oddly enough, over the years the balance has tilted toward behaviors of our own that we'd like to shed or modify, things we can actually do something about. Imagine.

When a fire is unavailable, be imaginative. (On New Year's Eve, 2005, we ripped our list into tiny pieces and tossed them into the Seine.) Any of the four elements -- earth, air, fire, water -- in any number of combinations will help to enhance the ritual.

So, now that you know our DIY secret formula, you don't need us anymore. Burn it up, baby.


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